Apples
by The Wolf's Shadow
Summary: Different points of view about Kirk and his love for apples. Please R&R.
1. Spock

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Star Trek franchise or the characters in it.

* * *

As far as Spock could tell, there was nothing strange about his Captain's seeming regard for apples. As far as sustenance went, Spock thought them to be among the more logical of choices. They have a sweet taste, keep relatively well, are a convenient shape, are aesthetically pleasing, and are a relatively healthy choice, he reasoned.

Despite all this, it still bothered him to see Kirk eating them on the bridge...


	2. Uhura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Star Trek franchise or the characters in it.

A/N: A little bit of explaining for the last chapter. Kirk was eating an apple during his last Kobayashi Maru test. He was still eating it when the simulation ended and when Spock showed up. Spock definitely would have noticed. I'm pretty sure he would feel a little bothered if he were to see Kirk eating an apple on the bridge after that. Although, truth be told, he probably wouldn't like anyone eating on the bridge, regulations and all that.

I'm sorry if Kirk or Uhura are a little OOC. I'm more familiar with the original versions of the crew. If you notice anything wrong, please review and tell me so I can fix it. If you don't notice anything, please review anyway. *smiles*

* * *

Out of all the bars on the current planet, she had to pick the one containing Kirk! There was no way she was going to let a guy like Kirk drive her out, though, so she chose a seat at the bar. Less then ten minutes later he noticed her and came over. Growling to herself about her bad luck, she asked him, "Why are you eating an _apple_ in a bar?" The apple he was currently eating was large, red, and from the sound of it, very crisp.

Glancing around, he said, "I'm using it to test for secret conspiracies around this quadrant. Why else would I be eating an apple? It couldn't _possibly_ be because I'm hungry."

Her sarcasm senses tingling, she replied, "Fine, but could you eat it somewhere else? You're loud."

"Nope" He smirked.

* * *

"Just great! Barely an hour into it and my shore leave is already ruined!" she exclaimed loudly outside the bar. Several passersby looked askance at her, all the while picking up speed. Feeling slightly embarrassed, but still furious and with a headache to boot, she called the transporter team on board the Enterprise and asked to get beamed up.

"Right away, Lt. Uhura." replied the ensign working the transporter.

As the golden lights associated with transporters swirled around her, she grumbled, "Stupid Kirk with his obnoxious apple." And then she was gone.


	3. Scotty

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Star Trek franchise or the characters in it.

* * *

There were about twenty minutes left before the shift change for lunch when Scotty found a huge error in the ship's function...

"Captain, we 'ave an emergency!" cried Scotty's voice over the intercom.

"Report. What's wrong?"

"You've only got one type ah sandwich programed inta the replicators!"

A mass groan rang out over the bridge. "I'll be right down," sighed Kirk. These "emergencies" happened way too often...

* * *

Scotty waited impatiently in one of the mess halls, hopping from one foot to the other. Kirk walked in. "Captain! Eh, Captain?"

Kirk continued walking up to the replicator by Scotty, still ignoring the Scotsman. "Red apple", ordered Kirk. Scotty thought he looked quite fierce. Better wait until he was done...

* * *

After Kirk got his apple, everything went much better for Scotty. They were able to program several different sandwiches by lunchtime, which he greatly appreciated. Scotty, now munching on an Andorian BLT, watched as his captain walked out, still eating his apple.

"What a nutter, passin' up a sandwich for lil' apple." Scotty sighed dejectedly at the thought there could be anything mentally wrong with his captain. He should probably tell someone...

* * *

A/N: I had some trouble writing Scotty. I haven''t really tried to write accents yet, and I think he might be a little OOC. I'm pretty sure the dinning areas on the Enterprise aren't called cafeterias, but I can't remember what they're called. If anyone could help out with these things it would be very appreciated.

I figure the reason Kirk got the apple before he did anything was, one, he likes apples, and two, if he didn't have something to tear apart with his teeth he'd have tried to kill Scotty. Wouldn't you if some weird guy with a funny accent kept on calling you up for fake emergencies? Anyway, McCoy's up next!

*Note: I replaced "cafeteria" with "mess hall". Thanks for the help with that. :)


	4. McCoy

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Star Trek franchise or the characters in it.

* * *

"Jim, come down to sickbay."

"Right now?"

"Yes. I've got something I need to talk to you about."

McCoy could hear the Captain sigh. "Coming."

As he walked away from the com-unit to check on some patients, McCoy couldn't help but think to himself, _this is gonna be good_.

* * *

Kirk strode into sickbay and headed straight for McCoy's office. He stopped, leaning against the doorway. "What is it, Bones?"

McCoy sat behind his desk and just looked at Kirk for a moment, not answering... It was getting a little creepy when all of the sudden McCoy burst out with, "A few people are concerned for your mental stability."

Kirk was taken by surprise. "What? Really? Who are they?"

McCoy stood up and moved to the other side of the small room, his back turned. "Lieutenant Uhura mentioned in passing that you had gone to a bar just so you could eat one of your apples."

Amused, Kirk asked, "Who else?"

McCoy's voice grew a shade darker as he replied, "That man in engineering, Scotty, told me that you had passed up the most _delightful_ sandwich for one of your apples." The doctor turned on Kirk abruptly. "This has to stop! This obsession with fruit isn't healthy! If Starfleet finds out, it could cost you your command! Why can't you be obsessed with something reasonable, like a good Georgian peach? Dang it, Jim, stop laughing! I'm being completely serious!"

"No, Bones, this is to much! Back you foul fiend!" Kirk was backing out of McCoy's office when he remembered that a crucifix only worked on vampires, so he a pulled out... an apple. "Back, stay back!" he continued shouting, holding the apple in front of him, until the doors to sickbay hissed shut in front of him.

By now all the shouting had attracted some attention. Nurse Chapel turned to McCoy and asked, "What was that about?"

His control shattered as he broke out into a grin. "It's nothing, Christine", he drawled, waving her off.

* * *

A/N: Sorry this took so long. My excuse: life happened. Don't you hate it when that happens? =P By the way this is my longest chapter yet at 334 words. Be proud!

I _was_ going to write McCoy's chapter so angsty your computer cut itself, but then I thought "Everyone does that!" I mean, come on. Apples, doctors, Kirk, McCoy. So much angst there. So I wrote this. XD The idea behind this chapter is that here you have two best buds, in space, and in command. The have to do something to loosen up, so I figure, why not some good ol'... stuff. You know "stuff" has happened to you that was absolutely hilarious, to you, at the time... So yeah, pretty much. I doubt any of that made sense...


	5. Sulu

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Star Trek franchise or the characters in it.

* * *

Sulu had heard about Kirk before he'd even joined Starfleet, but only recently had he heard about Kirk's obsession with apples. He glanced down at his console and made a small change to the course settings.

"Captain, please refrain from eating while on the bridge." Spock was sending a major-Vulcan-death-glare in Kirk's direction. After a moments hesitation, Kirk reluctantly set the apple down.

Sulu glanced around the bridge. He had been wanting to pull a prank on his new captain for some time now, but the only problem was he needed a partner to pull it off right. Now he may have found one...

* * *

Spock's eyebrow raised as Sulu explained his plan. "I fail to see the logic of this."

Knowing this was his only chance, Sulu reasoned, "If it works, it'll discourage the Captain from eating on the bridge. He's eaten there at least twice this week. You've already recited regulation, so this is the only way to make him stop." He held his breath as Spock considered this.

"Very well." Spock activated the transporter. Sulu bent down to pick up the innocent looking fruit sitting on the transporter pad, unchanged, on the outside that is...

* * *

After planting the apple in Kirk's quarters, Sulu didn't get much sleep. He had been too hyped up in anticipation of today's turn of events... The hiss-squeak of the lift's doors opening and closing announced the Captain's entrance. Out of the corner of his eye, Sulu watched Kirk sit down in the command chair, apple in hand. He could see Spock bending over his station, giving no indication that anything was amiss. _Perfect._

All Sulu had to do now was wait. Crunch. Crunch, crunch. Just a little longer... Crunch. Crunch, _squish._

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at their captain. Kirk's eyes met Sulu's before they turned to look down at the offending fruit. There, wrapped around the apple's core, was a worm. A _gummy_ worm. It just so happened that Kirk was allergic to gummy worms.

As Kirk got hauled off to sickbay, Sulu put his head in his hands; he could just feel Spock glaring at the back of his head.

* * *

A/N: My thanks go out to Yalana Cotu for helping me come up with the idea for this chapter. Two more chapters after this. Chekov's is next!

I have a poll on my profile to see how good the summaries to my stories are. After you finish reviewing (hint, hint) please head over to my profile and take the poll. Thanks for reading!


	6. Chekov

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Star Trek franchise or the characters in it.

* * *

Chekov walked down the hall at a fast clip. It was always awkward to go anywhere on the _Enterprise_ because of his age. But, for once, no one paid him any mind. _It was almost as if they couldn't see him..._

There was an important report that Captain Kirk needed to sign. Because the Captain's shift had ended a few hours earlier, and the report had only just been finished, Chekov now had to hand deliver it. The computers had said the Kirk was currently in his quarters, so that's where Chekov was headed.

_Ah._ He had reached the captain's quarters. He knocked on the door and then waited. No answer. Chekov knocked again. Still no answer. He hesitantly stepped through the doorway. The lights inside were dim and cast shadows everywhere. The bed looked like it hadn't been slept in for weeks. There were no personal belongings to be seen anywhere.

_Everthing looks fine_, thought Chekov. Still wondering where Kirk could be, he headed towards the bathroom. "Keptin, keptin?" he called through the door. Popping his head into the bathroom, he had almost turned to leave when he saw something. The garbage disposal was jammed and overflowing with apple cores.

Wandering back into the main quarters, he checked the garbage disposal there. It was exactly the same as the last one. _This was a little strange..._ He was putting the PADD with the report on Kirk's desk so he could leave, when something caught his eye. One of the desk drawers had been left open. To his increasing horror, the drawer was crammed full with apple cores!

_Behind him, he heard a loud "Crack!" as the wardrobe doors broke open. Out poured a river of of cores. They weren't stopping! The apples cores were already up to his knees. He had to get out now! Rushing to the door, his body slammed into it. No! It was locked! The cores just kept coming... _Snap!

* * *

Chekov's eyes flew open. Kirk had been snapping his fingers by the young Russian's ear. Chekov shot up in his seat. "Keptin?"

"You fell asleep at your post", Kirk explained. "Make sure you don't do it again." The Captain's expression was serious, but later everyone would swear he was sounded amused.

"Yes, Sir!" Chekov saluted. There was no way he would fall asleep anytime soon!

* * *

A/N: Once again, my thanks go out to Yalana Cotu. She gave me the idea for this chapter in one of her reviews. "I find myself wondering where he will leave all the cores..." It made me wonder too. So I made Chekov's subconscious wonder, and it went from there! Although I feel kinda bad for scaring the kid...

Next: the grand finale! Reviews will be fed to my muse.


	7. Kirk

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Star Trek franchise or the characters in it.

* * *

The mess hall was buzzing with activity, then the captain walked in. Conversations were muted as all eyes turned towards Kirk. The whole room waited...

Kirk walked up to the nearest replicator. "Ham sandwich and coffee," he ordered.

People craned their necks trying to see where he was hiding it. One man almost fell out of his seat.

Kirk glanced around. People picked at their meals, hoping he didn't catch them staring. His gaze landed on Sulu and Chekov's table.

"How's it going?", Kirk asked as he joined their table.

Sulu smiled nervously in response. _I almost killed him_, he thought. _What do I say?_

Chekov continued to stare at his yogurt, as if would give him the answers to all of life's greatest questions like: _how do I get away from deh keptin?_

The resulting awkward silence was long and... awkward, but Kirk didn't seem to care. He began to talk excitedly about the shore-leave that was coming up_, _obviously in a good mood. Eventually he finished his lunch and bid the two men farewell.

As they watched him leave, Chekov slumped in his chair while Sulu let out a quiet sigh of relief. The mess hall was abuzz with speculation as everyone wondered why the Captain hadn't eaten any apples yet...

* * *

A week later, the crew was still guessing as to why he had stopped eating the red fruit.

Walking down the halls of his ship, Kirk wondered how long it would take before everyone realized he'd just been messing with them.

He shook his head, smiling.

* * *

A/N: The last chapter, yay! I hope you enjoyed it. I was going to included Cupcake in this one, but that wouldn't have been fair to Rand and Chapel. Oh well. Speaking of unfair, does anyone think I should redo Spock's chapter? It's really short, even compared to all the other ones. If you want to see it redone and/or have any ideas for it, please review! You should review anyway though. =)


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